You’d better get me some fuckin’ incredible swag this year. Myrrh? Fuck that worthless shit. How about a Bose surround sound system? Is that too much to ask for your eternal lives, for Christ’s My sake?
Well my night has been made.
Greatest video in the history of forever.
hmmm..should i take it off or no? 50 reblogs and I will. *reblogs, not likes. making it hard on you guys tonight ;)
What’s next in the repertoire? Daffy-nitions? Reading jokes out of the Reader’s Digest? You must be a hit in the “borscht belt” with all the other 95 year-old comics.
Unclefucker.
Seriously. Enough with the cock shots and dudes’ chests in my Topless Tuesday thread!
Use something like “Testicle Tuesday” or another tag for all your boyfriends to follow. I’m trying to see female tittays…
Whenever I read a cocky, “short” or rude response on Tumblr from one person to another about how amazing they think they based on their blog and how they are so above following back I start laughing hysterically and think, “Wow, the moment this person moves out of their parent’s house & enter the real world, their ego is going to take a major hit. Good luck little rude-ling.
Moral of the story, Part I: Dear Rudes, When people are paying you or your blog a compliment just say thank you. There is no use in being a total ass bag to someone who is being complimentary and reaching out to make a new “Internet friend.”
Moral of the story, Part II: Dear Friendlys, The people that are being rude will read Part I and do the opposite of what I’m suggesting. They might even “unfollow me” which is actually a blessing in disguise for me. Instead of trying to change them just try your best to not get upset over a mean response. In fact, just come over to my blog and we can talk about sunshine, rainbows, gay rights, dogs, cats, eating candy and how bad the traffic is in Los Angeles.
Seriously, there are more nice people in this world than mean….it’s just negative always seems to out weigh the positive even if there is more positive going around. Rise above it and don’t let people bother you since that is their main goal in the first place. Misery loves company so just kick their ass out of your house.
* I am not posting this for it to blow up in “re-blogs.” My random thoughts are rarely blogged anyway and I continue to write them because they make me happy :) I do feel like this one should be reblogged though because I feel like this is a major problem on Tumblr and the Friendly’s should really start uniting together.
Have a beautiful day everyone XOXOXOXOXO- Deanna
No truer words have been posted than these…
Why would you laugh in My face? You’ve just intimated that I am not a funny God. What about this one: “Michael Jackson reacts to a collision between a Popeye’s Chicken truck, a watermelon truck and a grape Kool-Aid truck.” Is that funnier? See, it’s because he’s supposedly black.
fuckyeahjeebus reblogged your photo
Here we see the self-proclaimed “King of Pop” as he surveys the selection of little boys hanging out at the local water…Great another dumb fuck. You’re so stupid you wouldn’t get it if I laughed right in your ugly ass face. GO GET A FUCKING LIFE TROLL
Here we see the self-proclaimed “King of Pop” as he surveys the selection of little boys hanging out at the local water park.
(via mtv3g)
Why does everyone associate heavy metal with Satan? For all we know Satan could like smooth jazz.
I know for a fact he’s a huge fan of Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute. Trust me on this one.
(via satanhasherpes)
Could be the bright eyes or the smirky grin while going knuckle deep, but this is so erotic.
(via art-or-porn)
Seriously. And not that “I’m married so I pay for it every day” crap either. I mean actually soliciting the services of a professional.I’m curious about your experiences.
And how many here have been paid to have sex? Drop me a message or submission. You will remain totally anonymous.
Tumblr Crushes:
So much for worshiping me. 2 deactivateds and a spam bot in my crushes. Fuck you. Time for another plague.
HHHHOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY
why?
Yes.
To answer the question directed to My mother—why? Fuckin’ brilliant entertainment, that’s why!
Anonymous asked: X. No dudes! Jeebus is tired of all the swinging meat that slows Him from beating on His meat like it owes Him money. This goes for all the trannys, chicks-with-sticks, pre-op/mid-op/post-op weirdos too. Fuckers.
IT'S NOT A JOKE WHEN YOU IRRESPONSIBLY SPREAD HATE, FUCKER! THINK ABOUT IT! AND, LOOK WHO'S CALLING OTHER PEOPLE WEIRDOS!
Jeebus has talked to Dad on your behalf. You’re still retarded. And hellbound. I tried. Jeebus loves everyone. Except you. Kidfucker.
Another Topless Tuesday hath passed without rules and laws in place that pleaseth Me. Oh, hear and obey the words of Jeebus, as they are now given to thee through these Commandments:
I. Thou shalt respect Topless Tuesday and keep it full of pictures of thy tittays. Showing nipple is heaven-worthy. Standard bikinis and shirts showing just thy cleavage art a waste of Jeebus’ time and hand lotion.
II. No dudes. Jeebus doth not need to see any cock-and-balls across His dashboard whilst searching for tits.
III. Handbras art allowed in Topless Tuesday pictures, provided the hands that covereth thy knockers art thy own or those that belongeth to another female. Boyfriends covering thy boobs shalt be struck down dead immediately.
IV. No dudes. Topless Tuesday is for women only. Go tag thy twig and berries under something else.
V. NO MINORS. There is no reason to show thyself in any stage of nakedness if thou art under 18 years of age. Jeebus hateth kiddie porn and gets creeped out when someone obviously too young feels the need to flaunt thy non-existent hooters. I wilt turn thee in to the authorities and thou canst be held criminally for dissemination of child porn. Thou hast been warned.
VI. Thou shalt refrain from creating posts where thou claimest thou art unsure if you should post a Topless Tuesday picture or whether anyone would want to see thy ta-tas. That is nothing but a lame and juvenile need for validation. The answer is yes. I want to see your sweater cannons. The answer will always be yes. Don’t ask again.
VII. If thou thinkest thou art the wittiest, most creative, or the first person ever to come up with the following Topless Tuesday ideas, thou art wrong:
Stop it. Seriously. Cut it the fuck out now. Thou art not the least bit funny or ingenious. Next one to try this cutesy shit I shall smite.
VIII. If thou thinkest that flipping off the camera or sticking thy tongue out or making a stupid face whilst topless shalt prevent or slow Jeebus down from saving thy picture to His portable hard drive and pounding out a load of love gravy to it later, then thou art sadly mistaken. It just makes thee look retarded.
IX. Thou shalt also not claim thou art “going to take thy picture down momentarily” or “this picture probably will be coming down in ___ minutes/hours/days. Thou dost never take it down. That is fake embarrassment on thy part and a further yearning for validation from Me. Likewise, thou shalt not claim this is thy first Topless Tuesday picture ever. It never is.
X. No dudes! Jeebus is tired of all the swinging meat that slows Him from beating on His meat like it owes Him money. This goes for all the trannys, chicks-with-sticks, pre-op/mid-op/post-op weirdos too. Fuckers.
This is the holy word of Jeebus.
SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE.